A Thin tight rope

 I met with my liver doctor at the University of Iowa last week.  He had good news and good news that could easily be interpreted as bad news.  Let me explain.  My MELD score (model for end-stage liver disease) a month ago was 27.  High enough to possibly be considered for an organ over the next few months.  Last week it dropped to 21.  Why?  I'm on dialysis and dialysis drops my creatinine levels to 3 or lower for a few days.  Normal creatinine levels are 1 so 3 is nothing to cheer about.  Anyway, lower creatinine levels mean lower MELD scores and I'll never see an organ with that score.  

The good news is I'm healthy and can enjoy life which is what I intend to do.  I do suffer from ascites and have to be drained every week making my status decompensated cirrhosis.  The typical life expectancy for that status is 2-5 years.   I

t's a very thin tight rope I'm walking because as I "enjoy life", if anything were to happen to me (let's say a cancer legion starts to grow on my liver) then I will immediately be removed from the transplant waiting list and I am left to live out my life for however long I can make it.  On the other side of the wire, if I get sick enough to make my MELD score 30 or higher, I can be an immediate candidate for a new liver.  It is indeed a very thin tight rope.